Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Her Godmother is a story that adults who have had an alcoholic parent can also relate to. Allie is a young girl whose father is an alcoholic whose drinking and irresponsibility result in the break up of her parents. While her mother makes plans to relocate, Allie stays with her godmother who helps her find her own path to healing. Allie's stumbling blocks to moving forward are guilt because she could not help her father and the question "Why?" With her godmother's help Allie comes to terms with this question but for those of us whose childhood is more than a glance behind us we may still have many questions about the turns life can take.

Why, for example, did my mother have to have that debilitating stroke when I was nine. Why did she have to lose her speech and why was my childhood markedly different than other children as a result?

Why did a parent die of cancer? Why was a brother a drug addict? What do some families seem to have more than their share of loss, heartache and suffering? Why did my mother-in-law's father and young brother have to go to Auschwitz?

Why do some people seem to be successes at what they do and others always failing no matter how hard they try? Of course failure is a subjective word for failing is all in the mind as I have often written. But for now, let the standard definition suffice.

The magic I describe in Her Godmother is real magic to me because I live my life with non-traditional Pagan beliefs and so all that is in Her Godmother is authentic. But, that is only part of what I believe. I believe we in essence spiritual. Energy that is "recycled" into lifetime after lifetime. But in each lifetime perhaps we were not "perfect" and left a lot to be desired in terms of compassion or other dubious acts.

Many have heard the term Karma. I do not believe Karma is a punishment for past life deeds necessarily. I do believe that karma can also be a choice to experience often extremely unpleasant things to exercise our spiritual muscle life after life until we have experienced enough wisdom to come back and empower the world we inhabit or to remain spirit.

Choice. We choose those we will call family and friend. We choose our positive experiences and those experiences that will truly test our mettle. And, it is not that we have to be gracious about how we get through our heartaches but that we merely get through it.

There are tools in life to help us along the way: that marvelous friend I spoke with yesterday and shared here, a special pet that was more than a pet, a teacher that instilled confidence and yes, the magic of a rainbow or a squirrel tapping at the window!

Whatever we have been through or those around us for that matter, we owe it to ourselves and each other to carry the banner of those we have lost in a place that we can look up to becuase no matter what they may have gone through, they would want us to move forward and strive to be as happy as we can.

There is nothing wrong with finally letting go of the guilt, of the why? There is only the challenge of learning how....

For more of my articles on 'life", you can find me on SelfGrowth.com

To see my book trailer for Her Godmother:

Monday, July 21, 2008

A Talk With An Old Friend

I had a nice talk with a dear friend of mine today. We go 'way back to our younger days of going to discos and clubs and making candlelit dinners for ourselves just because we deserved it! We dyed each other's hair, made homemade face creams, did facials while listening to music and gossiping. Her apartment was my haven during a time is of severe grief in which I suffered a severe nervous breakdown. The truth is I owe her my life for she was my "mother hen".

She hasn't changed much through the years either. She is as youthful as ever and no, I will NOT say her age other than she is a Michelle Pfeiffer look alike. My daughter and her son are both grown and, true to the type of mothers we were (for better or worse), they each as the saying goes march to their own drums. In my daughter's case, she makes her own drums!

Life gave each of us hardships that we wondered how we endured, we each lost beloveds and today, as in my younger days, I listened to her wisdom. We were talking about the whys of life. Why does one person suffer recurring bouts of cancer while another cannot survive one. Why do some people's lives seem only peppered with sorrow while others meet sorrow on their journey over and over again.

She said, "We will go crazy if we analyze why this and why that. Sometimes we have to accept that this is how life is." (She is a hospice Christian Chaplain and sees death and dying everyday) Recently she helped an elderly friend get into a nursing home near her home so she can look over her. She, like I, wonder (or perhaps fear) what our old age will be like. "I look at Betty (our friend) and realize that time is too short to waste on worrying. This is the time for laughter and to not let anything bother you. We each have to find a way to just accept and not waste our lives in worry and fear and death will come for all of us anyway. I want to just live my life to the fullest.

I, like so many other people, sometimes languish in the shadow of past memories. Beyond nostalgia, it is a place of loss and missed opportunities. Recently I went through a period of mourning my losses over the years and those who have read my writings know they have been many. The hardest part of moving forward from personal loss is the guilt of moving forward. It is as if moving forward is somehow a betrayal, somehow we feel deep down inside that it is wrong to stop grieving. But we never stop grieving. It just takes on a different persona in the guise of "adjusting". There is nothing wrong with moments of sadness for what was or what wasn't. The problem becomes how can we move forward joyfully?

I began to work myself through this period by getting up very early every morning and having my coffee and barn chores done early. I began exercising more and redecorated the living room with my husband. These are all steps to moving forward when stuck in a mental space we want to get out of.

Talking to old friends who knew you way back when one week you were a blond, the next a red head helps too. Remembering the fun reignites the feeling and the brain cannot tell a real experience from a remembered or imagined one so recalling laughter uplifts in the present which is another step in moving forward.

We had our conversation much earlier in the day and when I hung up I had no idea our heart to heart would become my blog today. Writers are funny that way. It can be a picture or a song or a cow that brings forth some tidbit of writing but today it was reconnecting with a dear friend.

We spoke of getting together with the gaggle of gals we used to hang out with in a hotel room with booze, pajamas and food and just laughing about the old days. Oh, and we won't cook our meal. We've earned the right to be served!

Moving forward is what I wrote about today. You have read the blog already. In Her Godmother, the main character struggles to move forward while having to face her father's alcoholism. Her Godmother shows how there is everyday magic that can heal. Life is the same way. Sometimes the magic in a talk with an old friend...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Friday, July 11, 2008

Mirror, Mirror

We in spiritual circles sometimes talk about "mirroring". What we mean by this is that someone or circumstances reflect who we really are by how we react to these situations. If, for example, we are impatient with someone who has a short temper there is a strong possibility that we, ourselves, may tend to have short fuses. In other words we experience irritation at the very trait we have in which case this "mirror" enables us to look at ourselves.

Mirrors such as these take all forms. This past 4th of July weekend I became really angry at a neighbor across the road. Mind you in all the years that we have been neighbors we have only ever exchanged a hello when we see each other. I am a funny person this way. If I feel cool toward someone when I meet them I listen to my intuition. My choosing not be friendly is usually just a preference to not allow someone in to my personal space and life. But I wander...

In actuality I have never been annoyed with these neighbors until this past 4th. I happened to look across my driveway to see that there, in view of the road was the Confederate flag. I became furious! How dare they put up that flag instead of the US flag! I know my history and intellectually know that today, many New Southerners consider this flag a symbol of a failed attempted to become their own nation. Sound familiar? But to me this more prominently represents a time in which people were considered property with no rights and who often suffered horrible abuses. I am of mixed heritage. My father was Irish-English but my mother was Puerto Rican of Taino, Spanish and African heritage. In fact, my own great grandmother had been taken from her African homeland by a Spaniard and brought to Puerto Rico against her will so the issue of slavery is one that is in my family history.

I fumed! I was trying to think of something I could put up on my lawn to infuriate him in return. As a Pagan, I know the inequities suffered for these beliefs as well. But, the truth of the matter is I, as a Pagan, am judged by people of extreme persuasions and the violent hatred expressed towards Pagans is documented historically and still happens today. But, I am out of the broom closet so to speak and have blatant and ornate altars on my front porch which is visible to the road all year around. I am sure this irritates and even infuriates some people but I am expressing myself on my private property and this "self" expression is a right.

As a writer, no matter how loathsome someone may be, such as a Clan leader, I must respect his right to his opinion and to state it. For if one person loses the right of freedom of expression it is only a matter of time before we all do. So, here I was flaming mad about my neighbor forgetting at the time that he was expressing himself just as much as I do by my front porch altar displays.

My anger was my mirror in that I became acutely aware that weekend of exactly how sensitive I really am about certain philosophies, about the suffering the ancestor I never knew went through as a Black and as a woman. All of this came ripping up to the surface the moment I saw that flag. So, the real issue here is not political from a spiritual point of view although it certainly was part of it. The real issue is what I am angry about.

The purpose of a mirror is not to so much outwardly act as much as it is to become inwardly aware of powerful reactions and examine the usefulness of the emotions. The anger I felt was useless. It was not going to change his hanging his flag. As an artist I cannot refute his right to freedom of expression for here, at least for the time being, we are free to express ourselves as we please. The useful thing to do was the simplest of outcomes: realize there is anger under my cool surface and to work it out in time. Realization is the first step for if we are honest with ourselves, we are probably angry about a lot of things we simply have not looked at for a long,long time.

So, my "reflection" was of a side of my persona I needed to rediscover and come to terms with.

As for my neighbor--may he live in peace--until Halloween when my displays will be grander than ever before!!!!!

How about taking a journey where enchantment balms a hurting soul? Her Godmother is rich with everyday enchantments that heals the heart....

Click here to see the book trailer:

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Finally! We here in upstate New York have a prediction of no rain for the next couple of days! There is a wonderful breeze coming through my window as I type and the sun is shining above in a clear, cloudless sky. More importantly, there is no humidity!

Amidst this blessing from Mother Goddess so much is happening and these happenings invade the tranquility of the day. There is more destabilization in the Middle East which may place us in yet another war, there are campaign spokesmen claiming on one side that American fears concerning the economy are "mental" recessions and, on the other side a prominent activist making derogatory remarks about his party's candidate albeit on the side while thinking taping had halted.

I don't think I need to go over all the issues that are at play during this election for it is obvious that this year's election will be the most historic probably since JFK.

What I do think needs to be said is that spirituality, which impacts on our lives on an individual basis, needs to concern itself with the things that matter within our immediate circle of family and friends, country and globally. What things are these? Everyone should have the hope of at least a promise of bettering one's circumstances. Everyone should TAKE FOR GRANTED that their children will not go hungry, be uneducated or suffer any type of "ism"-- racism, sexism and religious discrimination. Everyone should be able to receive medical care. We should all demand a world of reconciliation that is free from fear of any kind, including the continued natural disasters that can no longer be disassociated with global warming.

Look. I know everyone and every group has their "vested" interests and frankly, in their own way their rationalizations are not to totally rejected. Diplomacy is as tainted as the hallowed halls of Congress so as far as world leadership goes all of our futures may boil down to a poorly played game of chess...

All any of us can do is work toward integrating peace within our own lives and finding this peace in the everyday world around us as we wait and are hopefully praying for our global community. Yes, I said praying. To me it does not matter what you believe. Prayer, meditation is documented to heal and most of us do indeed believe in miracles! As a quantum metaphyisician, I also believe prayer and meditation does indeed impact on circumstances. For more on this, please visit my website quantumspirituality.tripod.com and peruse the free online newsletters you will find there.

In my newest book, Her Godmother, Allie comes to terms with her father's drinking and discovers a new path for herself through the power of everyday magic. We can do this for ourselves and play our own little part in spiritually impacting on our world one prayer at a time...

How a taking a journey where enchantment balms a hurting soul? Her Godmother is rich with everyday enchantments that heals the heart....

Click here to see the book trailer:

Sunday, July 6, 2008


Am I Really Here?

Okay. I have determined that I am a fluke of the Universe. I am a specter with some kind of supernatural yearning to be real. I do not exist. The Cyber universe tells me so. Please bear with me as this evidently nonexistent person, author, daughter, wife, and mother comes to this conclusion. Everything and everyone is on the web. Cate Cavanagh is all over web, all over google and just about every search engine there is. Cate Cavanagh has been an NPR radio affiliate broadcaster and podcaster. Cate Cavanagh is listed on amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com as well as other online book stores. Cate Cavanagh has books in bookstores, including Barnes and Noble. Cate Cavanagh has a laudable professional and creative resume but, am I really here or a spectral- lurker who is simply just too stupid to know that I am not her or she is not me?

During the last several years I have had three myspace pages. They have all been lost. When "I" inquired myspace told me I did not exist. I have in the last week rejoined and did three more pages only to have them blip off. Once again myspace told me I do not exist.

I began this blog and, low and behold, my "appearance" here seems like something out of the Twilight Zone where a specter fades in and then out...Will I be here when I complete this blog? My blog is here one minute and then gone the next. I do not know but then I do not really know if I exist anyway.

I have had websites-zip-gone-never was.

So, I decided not to be deterred and go the new big connection website-facebook. Well, I have signed on twice as I write this and my password is said to be wrong. I reset the password and although I get signed in, it is not the "right" password for going further than that.

So, I have this little dilemma that vexes me greatly- Do I really know we exist? It seems I don't. I find myself having bizarre musings. For example, in science it is said that something blue is not blue at all. It's just everything else that is not blue. An orange is not orange but rather every other color is absorbed EXCEPT orange which is what we see. I look in the mirror and therefore must conclude that the image I see is merely a rejected range of colors that make up my green eyes, freckled face and red hair so, with scientific fact in hand I look at myself and realize that who I see is not really there at all so the me I see simply does not exist.

Apparently cyperspace has come to the same conclusion so the question becomes if I am not Cate, then who am I am? Will the real Cate please stand up and finish rewriting the books I still have lurking in the back of my mind? Will the real Cate clean my house and do the luandry and cooking for me? I am apparently living your life...enough already! Live Your own.

But, if you must insist I live your life will you please take over my life and replace it with heavenly spas, swimming pool, a huge boat, an estate stable, landscapers and room service?

Do this person-whose existence is questionable- a favor. Please go to you tube and view the book trailer for the book some other Cate wrote. Thanks.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Enchantments are all around us!

To watch video click here:

Find out what everyone is talking about!

Allie begins her magical adventure as her mother takes her to her Godmother while she works out the issues in her life. Surrounded by woods, Allie finds new adventures and a path to healing as Aunt Bridget shows her how to find the magic not only in herself but miracles in the world around her. Harry Potter was taken to a world separate from the mundane; Allie learns that magic is not only real, but is part of every day life.

An uplifiting novel of healing and enchantment...

Available at fine bookstores, barnesandnoble.com and amazon.com
Be sure to view the book trailer above and find out what everyone is talking about!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

For The Greater Good

“And it harm none” is the common mantra of Pagans during ritual and prayer and just as often “for the greater good” is another.
As a Witch and Pagan with a strong Wicca background philosophically, these are safety tenets that prevent all of us from manipulating circumstances, even subconsciously, that might incur a karmic debt to ourselves or inadvertently manipulate another person.

I was raised Catholic and, truth be told, I even wanted to be a nun in my youth. As a Catholic, the safeguard against to “Hell” was confession. If one died without confession or last rites then the “karmic debt” was be Purgatory-that in between place where one would remain until debts were paid after which point entrance to “Heaven” would be granted.

I bring this up because in all of the religions and nontraditional beliefs I have studied, this is a common feature: in Buddhism, “purgatory” amounts to Bordo land for example, there is the fire and brimstone teachings we are all aware of but there are also beliefs that teach the soul will “sleep” until ready to awaken and begin anew.

So what does all of this have to with work for the “greater good?” I call myself Witch but I am also (what I coined) a quantum metaphysician. On my journey of evolving into this I evaluated “and it harm none”, “for the greater good”, karmic debt and other similar beliefs extensively. (My book, GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT, studies karma in great detail. Please note this book is no longer available by my choice.

Simply put, Karma is payment for past errors or noble work. Most people have come to associate the word with bad luck. Karma, despite what many may think, is not random. Somewhere along the line we put an ‘effort’ into our own Karma. I write extensively on the topic of energy conversion, which is the foundation of my spiritual school, QUANTUM SPIRITUALITY, The Science of Change. In my work, I ask readers to look at how we affect such conversion and subsequent outcomes by our deeds, our thoughts, our words or CHOICES. Our deeds are what we actively do. Lying and then being discovered for our lies is a basic example of how karma can play out for who would trust a known liar ever again?

But, as a Quantum Metaphysician, I concluded life can be a matter of the choices we make: who did we decide to marry? Who did we decided to leave? Did we relocate? What did we choose as our livelihood? Why did we make these choices? The result of these choices is karma.

What if, when we were still spirit-fluff, we decided we needed to learn a new experience as a challenge to our soul’s muscle? What if at that time, we realized we may not have been good people in our past lives and chose to pay our debt? What if we decided to pay that debt in the NEXT LIFETIME rather than wait until further down the line? We have then selected a life theme. (We could have also chosen success because we want a ‘vacation’ from spiritual growth or a reward for much spirituality learned.) But, let’s stay with paying our painful “debt”. We may have chosen illness, poverty or an untimely death. Why would we choose this painful purpose in a next lifetime? Perhaps in our spiritual evolution we opted to learn how fixed and resolved our true souls can be in unknowing lifetimes and to determine whether or not we have learned enough over many reincarnations to master our spirit power.

Many people believe that the goal of the soul is to join the godhead (the universe, the Creator, Heaven). This theme is in Hinduism, Buddhism and others. What would be the purpose of this joining? To be part of the “Creator”, Divine healing and nurturing, the power of the divine and possibly even creation itself. If we look at the perfection of the earth, mankind’s interference aside, it is perfect. It functions on it own, heals itself and regenerates itself. Even climatic cataclysms are all part of healing. As its children, might we not also have all these inherent entitlements? The same can be said for the Universe. Therefore, must not we, as spiritual forces, aim to perfect energy management in the form of spirit power as we strive for the ultimate goal of joining The Divine to better perpetuate this power? Cannot mastering the molding of a lifetime be worth the pain in the infinite run? So, although we all may have a karmic debt, what part of our lives is truly karma?

I have seen many use karma as a “crutch”. From people believing “It is the will of God” to “For the good of all” sometimes it is overlooked that yes, we make our own karma- by our wishes, deeds and also by our lack of doing anything! We may all reach an awareness as to what our karma is supposed to be but can we know every instance? Does living in hardship mean this is our real karma for the rest of our lives? What if the real karma comes in as a result of what we choose to do about our hardships? What if, it is karmically within our power to change our lives for the better, insofar as karmic commitment is not concreted in our present existence? Don’t we, as beings with untapped spirit power, have even a responsibility for mastering whatever can be mastered in our lifetime and changing our circumstances? Is this not also a karma that can impact on the next life as well?

What if the real “test” for our souls and spirit power is whether or not we recognize the goal of mastering and creating or recreating a preferred reality? What if our karmic entitlement is actualizing a life’s potential?
Can this be done without “harming none” and “for the greater good?”

Having the eclectic background that I do, I believe firmly in maintaining a belief system. We must all have some moral compass or even the science of reinvention will fall into the realm of Chaos and that is a dangerous place. But if, as I teach, there is science in all things majickal we can begin to look at entitlements in life as a matter of quantum physics that does not have to take from someone else at all in order for us to improve ourselves and our lives.

We all know we can harm with majick but, where does it say helping others or ourselves for that matter is unethical?

For every instance that we use the karmic crutch for a reason to not act in our own best interests, or the interests of someone in need of help and healing, are we not also incurring a karmic debt for not honoring ourselves enough or for not applying the gift of healing we have been given?

How does healing come into this? As with anything karmic, death can be or not be a matter of a lifetime’s run. But, can any of us really know? I myself have had several near death experiences for example and although they were what I call optional exit points, I chose for them not to be. Working to heal someone of a terminal disease is not against the greater good for as our Deities determine we cannot work against anyway. But, what if we and the person we are working on to heal are to be messengers of hope and living proof of spirit power? Is it not also true then that by not acting to create a change, we are also toying with karma and the debt we could incur by allowing our fear to prevent us from bringing light to someone, anyone?

There are some Pagans who, because of concerns about karma, live their beliefs with as much grace as possible. Not all are meant to be “movers and shakers” and this is a blessing for those who walk the neutral, peaceful path are as important to the whole as those of us called to more dynamic forms of service. But, fear of repercussions or karma need not be part of resisting one’s potential majickally for in the end, “the will of God” and “the greater good” will win out.

You can read more about Quantum Spirituality on my website, quantumspirituality.tripod.com

Don't forget to scroll down and view the book trailer for my new book, Her Godmother!