Monday, October 13, 2008

Starting Over

In my book, HER GODMOTHER, Allie is on a journey to starting over. Everyone finds themselves in the position of having to start over at some point in their life. It could be starting over from a divorce, starting over after the death of a spouse or relocating. Starting over is never easy and often painful. Yet, it is sometimes necessary to start over and all we can do is go about it as graciously as we can.

How can we ease our transition in starting over? Sometimes it is the little things that can help. Light a candle for yourself for a change. Pick a color that reflects your area of need: blue for mental tranquility, white for purpose, yellow for courage and so on. Pray for yourself and ask others to pray for you. Prayers work and a little prayer in the morning and one at night can go a long way and the benefits can be immediate. You can immediately feel more in control of your circumstances by doing just a couple supplications a day.

Pamper yourself. When life is challenging it becomes very easy to let ourselves fall by the wayside. Don't become an unwise spendthrift but buy something you really want or save for it but do treat yourself to something special. Don't isolate yourself. This also can become an easy thing to do as we muddle through uncomfortable changes. Call a good friend and simply tell them what you are going through. I have called my best friend and honestly shared that I was in a bad space and was self isolating and that I called to snap out of it. There is nothing wrong with getting some help or a good laugh from a friend. I was faced with starting over when, at the age of thirty-two, I was widowed with a five year old daughter. I often called a close cousin who had an outrageous sense of humor and who could make me laugh no matter what. You see sometimes we simply have to want out of the discomfort or pain instead of chaining ourselves to it. Develop your spirituality. It can be a security blanket during uncertain times. Spirituality cannot be defined as religion for it also encompasses acquiring valid coping skills that can include meditation and emotional time outs.

Starting over is not always adventurous and fun. If faced with it later in life it can be extremely unsettling. Sometimes starting over as a result of painful life experiences can leave us feeling lost and unable to gain our equilibrium. This can result in times feeling hellish but remember that whereas "religion is for those that believe in Hell spirituality is for those that have been there." (Author unknown)

HER GODMOTHER BOOK TRAILER, Produced by Valkyrie Publishing,

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